My publisher and I are now in talks about converting Finding Emmaus to an e-book, for the following: Amazon/Kindle, Apple iBookstore, Barnes & Noble Nook, Google Editions, Kobo, OverDrive, and Sony Reader. I think it sounds like a good idea, and I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from friends and associates. So far, it looks as though I'm going to go for it.
23 July, 2011
E-BOOK -- FINDING EMMAUS
My publisher and I are now in talks about converting Finding Emmaus to an e-book, for the following: Amazon/Kindle, Apple iBookstore, Barnes & Noble Nook, Google Editions, Kobo, OverDrive, and Sony Reader. I think it sounds like a good idea, and I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from friends and associates. So far, it looks as though I'm going to go for it.
10 July, 2011
If You Have No Voice, You Have No Power
My dear friend Roxy Lopez, host of the well-known radio show The Truth Denied, just sent me the following note regarding Friday’s interview about my novel, Finding Emmaus:“Pamela, I am getting MANY e-mails as to your interview, and many are buying your book! This is wonderful news! So many people wrote in and said you just helped them to “make sense” of their lives, and that they had never heard of EMPATHY.”
Here is the link to my July 8th interview with radio host Roxy Lopez:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiuEOTyBWgk&feature=share

Red Carpet Interview
22 December, 2010
A Most Beautiful Christmas Gift
Date: December 22, 2010 5:22:15 AM EST
To: “Jacqueline Farlow”
Subject: Finding Emmaus
Hi Jacci,
Finished the book a couple of days ago. I am assuming this author is a friend of yours. I hope you will let her know that I loved it. I thought it was a well thought out approach addressing interests and concerns relating to the paranormal and paranormal psychology. The characters draw you in and the whole work flows nicely (a very easy read) - some you like, others you think you can love, and of course, those that you just can't wait to abhor in the sequel. Pamela cleverly included obvious concerns about the pharmaceutical industry and mental health diagnosis that are all too often deceptive and far from being emphatically uplifting. A nice tie in with Dr. Breggin's issues on "psychiatry as spiritual profiling" and reform psychiatry (I did a little research there). All are interests near and dear to my heart - especially empaths.
Glasner's book is written in the same vain as my all time favorite The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson (amazing book cover) - two time lines that merge, paranormal activity, psychological thriller. Over 500 riveting pages that I finished in 3 days - couldn't put it down. I know you said you don't have time to read but I think you would really like this one.
I am glad we found the Aurora Art and Design Center. And I am equally glad I spied the book on your bookshelf. Thanks for being there.
Hope the holiday season is treating you well!
Blessings,
Annie
14 October, 2010
Pamela Glasner Blogging on the Huffington Post

Please visit my blog — I just posted my first article!! — and I'd absolutely love it if you'd become a "fan" of mine (there's a link for that to the right of my photo).
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-glasner/you-had-a-feeling-oh-good_b_761264.html
Please note: if "fan" does not work, you can also click on "Get Email Alerts From This Blogger" and it will bring you to the same dialogue box. Thanks!!
20 September, 2010
Midwest Book Review Endorses and Praises Finding Emmaus
Each year, the Midwest Book Review receives approximately 18,000 submissions. I am thrilled to be able to tell you that on September 8th I received notification from James A. Cox, its editor-in-chief, that my debut novel, “Finding Emmaus” was just chosen to be reviewed and enthusiastically endorsed by this prestigious organization.
This is what they had to say:
Empathy is within us all, but some feel it stronger than others. “Finding Emmaus” is the first book for the Lodestarre series, a historical fantasy telling a story of two Empaths who live three hundred years apart whose talents are written off as mental illness. Through this gap, the two Empaths seek to understand their talents and what they mean, even when society snubs them.
“Finding Emmaus” is a thoughtful and fascinating read and take on society through fantasy. Highly recommended.
Their publication, known as Book Watch will feature “Finding Emmaus” in their 2010 issue. Additionally, “Finding Emmaus” will also appear in the Cengage Learning, Gale interactive CD-ROM series "Book Review Index" (published four times yearly for academic, corporate and public library systems), as well as the book review databases LexisNexis and Goliath.
They will also be posting their review on Amazon.com.
This is just such an honor — I’m over the moon about it!!
15 September, 2010
A Woman With More Backbone Than You Can Shake a Stick At!
Harper Lee, one-hit-wonder author of the Pulitzer Prizewinning “To Kill A Mockingbird” displayed the kind of gusty, gritty fearlessness which makes me proud of my gender (stick those fingers in your suspenders, jut your chin out and throw those shoulders back!!) and all those who share it.Early in the 1960’s, Virginia area school board attempted to ban “To Kill A Mockingbird” from their school, calling it “immoral literature”. My first reaction when I read that was, WTF?????
Well, it must have been Ms. Lee’s as well, because, amazing writer that she is, she penned, back in 1966, a clear, concise, cuttingly beautiful letter to the nincompoops which was, in my opinion, a thing of beauty — and this is what she said:
“Recently I have received echoes down this way of the Hanover County School Board’s activities, and what I’ve heard makes me wonder if any of its members can read.
Surely it is plain to the simplest intelligence that “To Kill a Mockingbird” spells out in words of seldom more than two syllables a code of honor and conduct, Christian in its ethic, that is the heritage of all Southerners. To hear that the novel is "immoral" has made me count the years between now and 1984, for I have yet to come across a better example of doublethink.
I feel, however, that the problem is one of illiteracy, not Marxism. Therefore I enclose a small contribution to the Beadle Bumble Fund that I hope will be used to enroll the Hanover County School Board in any first grade of its choice.”
Bravo for Ms. Lee!! You have always had my respect and admiration. This makes me want to buy you a beer, slap you on the back and give you a hug!!
Copyright by Pamela S. K. Glasner © 2010, All Rights Reserved
29 August, 2010
Film Industry Mixer ........ and OMG!!!
I just got home from the Film Industry Mixer at Young Studio in Hartford and OMG, I had the best time!!
The evening began with a walk down the red carpet as I entered, with photos being snapped and flashbulbs going off — it was fun and I loved it. Then I got to spend the rest of the night surrounded by (and speaking with) producers, directors, assistant directors, journalists, radio and TV hosts, news anchors, cinematographers, photographers, actors, writers … I ran into old friends (lots of them!) and made several new ones. I was in HEAVEN!
I also got to spend time chatting (and laughing!) with some of my favorite radio and TV personalities: Ann Nyberg, Mary Jones and Colin McEnroe.
There were 600 people at this event but it didn’t seem like a zoo, at least not to me. Oh, it was crowded, but it was warm and friendly and there was electricity in the air, no matter which room I was in. I kept running into people I knew and people who knew me and who knew my book. In fact, I am to call a TV host who has a local show in the New Haven area and wants to interview me about my book and my upcoming national tour.
One of the interviews I especially enjoyed was Melissa Mackenzie’s. She is the Senior VP of Maverick Entertainment Group and they specialize in marketing and distribution, two things I know absolutely nothing about. She was fascinating to listen to — a vital segment of the industry but one I’d never even thought of. What a treat!
My car was parked about 2 blocks away and on my way to it, I saw a man getting on a HUGE motorcycle, so of course I just HAD to say something to him: “Wow — your ride is a lot nicer than mine!” and we wound up speaking for about 20 minutes. It turned to be Assistant Director Stephen "Lucky" Luckingham. Wonderful man, and so knowledgeable. It was a warm night and the street was quiet and it was just such a pleasure to speak with a professional about something he was so obviously passionate about.
I’m SO glad I volunteered to work at this event, because not only did it make it POSSIBLE for me to meet all those amazing people, it made it EASY!
It was a beautiful, magical night and I am so delighted to have been a part of it.
Copyright © 2010, All Rights Reserved
24 August, 2010
Dr. Peter Breggin Interviews Novelist Pamela Glasner
Psychiatrist Peter R Breggin MD is interviewing novelist Pamela Glasner about her book, Finding Emmaus, first in a fictional series. Ms. Glasner explores mental illness, corporate greed, political conspiracies and human differences.... Peter R. Breggin, MD, has been opposing the overuse of biopsychiatric treatments and promoting empathic therapy for decades. His new reform organization is located at http://www.empathictherapy.org/, his professional site is http://www.breggin.com/.
23 August, 2010
The Many Hats an Author Must Wear - Book Signing & Presentation
Please join Pamela S. K. Glasner this coming Thursday evening as she talks about how she created her story and its characters, what draws her to the subjects about which she writes, the many hats an author must wear, how she has combined the art of being a writer with the business of being an author, and the research behind and the future plans for her historical novel, Finding Emmaus.This book’s got a little something for everyone: historical research, ghosts and spirits, mental illness, overcoming the most profound obstacles in order to become all you were meant to be, and living a life that matters.
This promises to be a fascinating evening — you won’t want to miss it!

Borders – Commack
68 Veterans Memorial Highway
Commack, NY 11725, USA
Thursday, 26th August, 2010 @ 6:00pm - 8:30pm
For questions, directions or other information:
631-462-0569
Books will be available for purchase and for signing.
Reservations are not required but would be appreciated by the staff at Borders.
06 May, 2010
Finding Emmaus’ Great Success!
“It was an honor and a pleasure,” said author Pamela Glasner, when she spoke of her remarkable opportunity to present her new novel, Finding Emmaus, at the prestigious Barnes & Noble at Lincoln Center in New York City.Despite the day’s persistent downpours, the event was well-attended and both Ms. Glasner and her book were well-received. After a fifteen-minute presentation, which included the reading of two short excerpts, the floor was opened to the audience to ask questions if they wished. And ask questions they did … for 20 minutes.
“I've so much to be grateful for, so much to look forward to, and wonderful people in my life to depend on and celebrate with. And all I can say is Thank God. 
“There’s no reason for any of this to have happened,” says Glasner of her new career. “Outside of my degree, which says I’m an English teacher, I've no formal training to be a writer. I had no résumé with which to wow a potential agent or publisher, nor did I have an office wall-papered with rejection slips or a bookshelf full of unwanted manuscripts.
“All I did was spend three days in a monastery at a silent retreat and, in the absence of external noise, I dug deep down inside myself and found the voice that’s apparently been clamoring for my attention for fifty-something years.”
Copyright © 2010, All Rights Reserved
06 December, 2009
"...written with an assurance and style that seem like the product of years of published writing experience"
~~A Review of Finding Emmaus by Hugh Ashton, December 5th, 2009~~
A book review that started through Twitter. A fellow-tweeter and author (who happens to live only two stations up the line from me here in Japan), Christopher Belton, wrote a review of a first novel by Pamela Glasner that piqued my curiosity and, thanks to his review, I ordered it from Amazon. He has since interviewed Glasner, who talks more about the book here.Described as a “dark historic fantasy” on the book’s Web site, Finding Emmaus is far removed from the “sword and sorcery” type genre (Glasner complains that she is often asked if her books are “like Harry Potter”. They’re not.). It actually tells the stories of two lives, running in parallel, but separated by several hundred years. Francis (”Frank”) Nettleton, scion of a wealthy 17th-century Colonial family, discovers the truth about his fits of seeming depression (his “dark days”) which, as he finds out more, turns out also to be the truth about a surprising number of people, who go about their lives in a state of terror–the terror that comes from the results of being diagnosed as insane or possessed by the devil; torture or death at the hands of the self-appointed cleansers of society.
Katherine Spencer, a 21st-century property developer, finds herself troubled by the many of the same fears as Frank, and finds herself being drawn closer and closer to him as she flees from the 21st century’s equivalent of Bedlam–the psychotropic drugs overprescribed by doctors in an attempt to cure what is seen by the medical industry as mental illness.
As the story progresses, the results of Frank’s life work, his Lodestarre (guide) to aid those who are cursed or blessed with the special gift of Empathy, becomes a near-obsession with Katherine and those around her as she settles into the house where Frank lived and worked centuries before.
The plot twists and turns through the lives of Katherine and those around her, taking in the lives and passions of her friends, the bombshell she explodes under the US pharmaceutical industry, and the diagnosis and treatment of mental patients. Since Glasner has described Finding Emmaus as the first of a trilogy, I did discover that the end of the book leaves a number of loose ends untied (good – it makes me want to read the rest of the series) but rushes somewhat to tie up others, compared with the more leisurely pace of the rest of the book.
When I first started reading, I found the style a little difficult to get into – not that it’s self-consciously literary, but it’s very much more concerned with characters’ interior thoughts and feelings than my usual reading fare. On reading further, it’s obvious why this is so–the plot is so concerned with characters’ interior lives that the story had to be told from the inside.
Although I do understand why this has to be the case, I found Frank’s 17th-century persona to be too 21st-century, and his language to be too close to our own present-day dialect for my taste, at least. Although it’s hard to read, and harder to write, in a style similar to (say) Pepys or Defoe for extended periods, Frank’s language, as well as his 21st-century sensibilities and reactions, jarred at times with the little I know of that period of American history and society.
One writer’s works with which I might compare Finding Emmaus are those of Robertson Davies; in its historical sweep, involving a broad cast of characters spanning different periods, and with an emphasis on the spiritual, books such as Murther and Walking Spirits come to mind. I find it hard to believe that this is Glasner’s first novel; it’s written with an assurance and style that seem like the product of years of published writing experience–far removed from so many first novels.
The physical book itself caught my eye as an example of the bookmaker’s art. Glasner apparently chose many of the design features herself; for example, the chapter headings are backed by a faint underprinting of a 17th-century manuscript. The typeface is clear and adds a classic feeling without being self-consciously Olde Worlde (and the dreaded fake deckle edge has been avoided). Maybe book design doesn’t mean that much when ebooks seem poised to take over the world, but for those of us who grew up with sliced dead trees, this is a good example of what can and should be done to match the physical book with the contents.
So, my main question now is: when are the next two volumes coming out? I know that Glasner has another project bubbling away, but I hope that Katherine and Frank aren’t being pushed too far onto the back burner. I’m looking forward to finding out what happens next (and isn’t that the ultimate test of what makes a good book?).
~~Hugh Ashton, author of Beneath Gray Skies~~
02 December, 2009
Pamela's words are what Computer Graphic Imaging is to the movies!
What an amazing book. Pamela explains in ‘Author’s Notes’ on how the story is a figment of her imagination, but she utilizes historical characters from America’s past, making her story more intriguing and even more fascinating.This is a book that you just can’t put down. You will be right on the edge of your seat as she mentions various towns that are descriptive of real American towns on the East Coast. Pamela knows how to pull on America’s heart strings via her readers.
The heroes of this book are Francis Nettleton and Katherine Spencer, both empaths. Here is the doozy that will have you hooked: both empaths live three hundred years apart, but yet their lives are interconnected. Right in the beginning of this book, you can feel your adrenalin rush as Katherine is terrified after hearing the front door opening and slamming repeatedly, the motor for the lift starts and the lift keeps ascending, loud footsteps are heard, sounds of breaking glass and Katherine mustering up all of her strength as she yells out … “there’s no such thing as ghosts!”
As the story proceeds along at an exhilarating pace, you will learn about a character named Gilbert Bond that is Empathic, but the doctors misdiagnosed poor Gilbert. Gilbert is finally forcibly escorted to the Bethlem Royal Hospital. Gilbert starts a diary and when you read the diary, you will learn about the atrocities that were placed upon him. How he faced torture and humiliation. How pitch is thrown upon his body, how he screams in excruciating pain. How three brutish men shave his hair off and cut into his scalp repeatedly. The tortures continue and the reader is left with vivid images in their mind.
Pamela definitely knows how to play this story out as if it were a blockbuster motion picture! Pamela’s words are what CGI (Computer Graphic Imaging) is to the movies! This story is filled with references to not only historical characters, but even to sayings from movies like The Confession.
There is a mystery around every corner and it will even have you front and center with a government agency like the Center for Disease Control.
Yep! When I say this book is intriguing …I am dead serious! Finding Emmaus is not only a good read, but it also leaves strong images in my mind that will linger with me for a long time afterwards!
~~By Paul Dale Roberts, December 2nd, 2009~~
Reviewer and President of Jazma Online
23 October, 2009
Authors and Arachnids
If you think about it, the arachnid really does conjure up the perfect image. It can sit down beside you, cross its legs and still have six appendages available to dangle carrots, rifle your belongings, stroke your ego and feel around in your pockets all at the same time — and still have two hands left-over: one proffering the pen with which to sign on the dotted line, the other covering its mouth so it can simultaneously hide the drool and the gluttonous smile.
And where’s the harm? After all, it’s not asking you for all of your life savings, just a portion of it — in advance, please. But it’s okay, it croons, as it begins spewing platitudes and sugar-coated venom, it’s such a pittance in comparison with the jewels I will one day lay at your feet: ten minutes on Oprah, sixteen column inches in the New York Times, a Hollywood contract, the Nobel Peace Prize and, on your way to the Pearly Gates, nothing short of canonization.
Now I want to ask you a question: has the following ever happened to you?
You go to the dentist and he informs you that you need a lengthy, expensive, invasive procedure known as a root canal. You’re in pain so, obviously, you agree to go ahead with it, but you’re apprehensive. You’ve never had one, you don’t know what it’s going to be like, you don’t know what you’re going to feel like. Of course you’re going to do it, you’re just nervous. And then it happens.
Every Tom, Dick and Harry, every butcher, baker and candlestick maker in your life and dozens of them who are not in your life are suddenly in your face telling you that they, too, had a similar experience. When you got out of bed that morning, you didn’t know anyone who’d ever had a root canal but by suppertime dental patients were crawling out of the woodwork.
You know what I mean. Even if it’s not about the dentist, it’s still happened to you, right? An insurance claim, a car accident, a delayed flight, a bad meal at a good restaurant. Whatever the circumstances, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We’ve all experienced the same phenomenon: If it’s happened to you, it’s happened to a dozen others who never once thought to mentioned it before, but suddenly have an overwhelming need to tell you all about it now.
That’s how I know I’m not alone when I say I spend a good portion of my time dodging the sharks and the snakes and the vultures. In fact, I’m in very good company. “Everywhere you turn,” sings Sarah McLachlan, “there's vultures and thieves at your back.” Wannabe’s — people who wannabe nothing more than in my checkbook.
And it really is a shame. It’s a sad commentary on humanity that no matter how much we evolve, we will always be divided up between the predator and the prey; we will always have to contend with shallow, hollow, miserable leaches who have nothing to give and therefore nothing to lose and therefore no problem devastating the dreams of the talented, the dedicated, the idealistic — as long as they get to line their pockets.
I've been up most of the night thinking about one such predator in particular, a person working overtime to ooze their way into my life with brazen demands of unfettered access and dubious promises of silver and gold and riches beyond imagining. I’m grateful I've been blessed with this gift worth coveting, and I’m equally grateful I've been blessed with the wherewithal to recognize a well-disguised arachnid when I see one, and I know that I will, along with the rest of us who have something of value to offer the world, spend the rest of my life en guard. I just can’t help but sigh in frustration when I think about it. Such a waste of good energy.
Oh, one final thing: Yes, I know — the way an arachnid’s body is structured, it cannot actually sit like humans do, but it makes a heck of a good image, doesn’t it?
Copyright © 2009, All Rights Reserved
17 September, 2009
Press Release - Sept 17th, 2009
Contact: Publicist, Deborah Riley-Magnus
(310) 637-1424
DARK HISTORICAL FANTASY
AUTHOR PAMELA GLASNER
SPEAKS TO THE MEDIA
September 17, 2009, Hartford, CT – Connecticut author, Pamela Glasner, speaks in several media venues to promote her first novel, Finding Emmaus, book one of the Lodestarre series. Finding Emmaus, to be released October 1, is a dark fantasy which exposes the contemporary pharmaceutical industry conspiracy, a subject about which she is passionate.
The psychiatric community has confused Empathic personality traits with mental illness with tragic results, leading two Empaths – Francis Nettleton and Katherine Spencer – who live three hundred years apart, on personal journeys to learn the true nature of Empathy. Transcending time and death to right a centuries-old wrong, they inadvertently uncover a multi-billion dollar conspiracy in which millions of Americans are being misdiagnosed and drugged for no other reason than the enormous income they generate.
Finding Emmaus, is a complex, dark, historic fantasy about human frailties and courage. It is an intricate, meticulously researched, deeply disturbing, suspenseful tale of love and sacrifice, obsession and the abuse of power and the indisputable right of free will. It is a story with an intriguing cast of characters who will keep you guessing as to what they will do and what choices they will make as they weave in and out of the story and each other’s lives.
Ms Glasner’s author events and media exposure currently include:
EVENTS
10/1 - Release of Finding Emmaus, book one of The Lodestarre Series
10/8 - Book Launch party, Wallingford Library, CT
10/13 - Wethersfield-Rocky Hill Rotary Club, Rocky Hill, CT
10/15 - Burgundy Books, East Haddam, CT
11/15 – Essex Books, East Haddam, CT
MEDIA INTERVIEWS
9/13 - Workers Radio Sydney, 88.9FM, Australia
9/18 - "Now That's Weird" Radio Show Interview with Ross Hemsworth, Glastonbury Radio, Glastonbury, England
9/29 - "World of Perspective" Radio Show Interview with Elizabeth Alraune
10/2 – “So Many Books” Television Show with Toni Andrews, CPTV, airing in seven states
ONLINE PROMOTION
Healing Our World http://shrvl.com/5ymb3
Xanga Blog – Monday Book Promo http://shrvl.com/5wO0x
Reflection’s Edge - Online Magazine http://shrvl.com/99414
Whispers of the Muse http://shrvl.com/vB0kP
Twitter http://twitter.com/PamelaGlasner
Facebook http://shrvl.com/58b3n
Finding Emmaus Website http://www.lodestarre.com/index.html
The Lodestarre: Finding Emmaus Blog http://lodestarre.blogspot.com/
ONLINE BOOK SALES VENUES
Amazon.com http://shrvl.com/m351C
Amazon.co.UK http://bit.ly/Iaz4a
Powell’s http://shrvl.com/PHI3V
Borders.com http://shrvl.com/kC6Na
Barnes & Noble http://shrvl.com/hp5y1
Burgundy Books, East Haddam, CT http://www.burgundybooks.net/
Ms. Glasner is managed by Publicist, Deborah Riley-Magnus. Finding Emmaus is published by Emerald Book Company, an imprint of Greenleaf Book Group. It is scheduled for release on October 1, 2009, and can be ordered now at the above-noted online book sales venues.
For more information, or to schedule an interview or speaking engagement with the author, please contact, Ms. Magnus at (310) 637-1424. Attachment, book cover.
###
Please don’t forget to see the previews of my book, Finding Emmaus, book one of The Lodestarre Series.
Copyright © 2009, All Rights Reserved
11 August, 2009
Can’t Have A New Life ‘Til You Let Go Of The Old
Why, I wondered, when I was done? Why did I enjoy it? Why was this time different from any other time?
Was it, I wondered, indicative of what’s to come, of what my life is about to be? Was it symbolic? Was I making room for new “stuff” by letting go of the old?
I was thinking about flying this weekend, how birds do it. I was on my way out to the orchard when a sparrow flew passed me, just above my head, not three feet away, close enough so I could hear the fluttering of his wings and his movement through the air and I remembered that birds have hollow bones, that they have to in order to lift themselves off the ground.
It’s an odd feeling I have as a result of this past weekend’s cleaning, as though I weigh less. I’m not referring to body weight, I’m talking about my heart and soul. I’m talking about a shedding of ‘mass’, a slow and steady casting off, link-by-link, of the Jacob Marley chain I've forged over the course of a lifetime and have hauled around with me since time began.
I don’t know if clearing the clutter out of my house is the reason for this feeling or if this feeling is what precipitated the clearing. Classic chicken and egg. All I know is, I’m getting ready to fly.
I’m not sure if that flying is a spiritual thing or if it’s just something as mundane as getting from point A to point B on a 747 during my upcoming book tour. Perhaps it’s both.
Whatever it is, I find myself embracing it, welcoming it. And that’s a huge change for me (there goes another link from that chain!) because “change” and the “unknown” used to scare the pants off of me. And now here I am, looking forward to it.
I am no longer terrified of it - rather, now I await it’s arrival like a child at a snowy evening windowsill, on the watch for reindeer.
Copyright © 2009, All Rights Reserved
13 July, 2009
Talking About Big Pharma w/ Tony Serve
We discussed my upcoming book, Finding Emmaus, the pharmaceutical industry’s terrible abuse of those who are tragically labeled mentally ill and governmental agencies which so miserably fail to protect anyone.
I am so very impressed with Tony’s stand on the subject and his commitment to shine a spotlight on this vitally important issue which literally effects millions the world over.
Please follow the link http://tonyserve.wordpress.com then scroll down to Pamela Glasner talks about her new book Finding Emmaus, Empaths, Big Pharma and bi-polar and click on that.
Tony ROCKS!
Copyright © 2009, All Rights Reserved
03 July, 2009
Funny thing happened on my way to becoming an author, part one
My answer? Yes and no.
OK … OK … I know … that’s no answer and it sounds like a cop-out. But the truth is, it is yes and no. Maybe I am giving something up. But then again, maybe I’m not.
It doesn’t feel as though I’m losing anything.
To my way of thinking, it’s feels more like digging way down deep inside and accessing it. Certainly, once my words are published, they will be shared with the multitudes - and, God willing, the multitudes will keep up their end of the bargain (my bargain, anyway!) and partake of the sharing - but I never think about that when I'm writing. I never think about what’s going to happen to my words later on.
I think if I gave that part of the process - what it might mean once my readers have my words in their hands and then in their minds and eventually in their discussions with each other … if I stop to consider my audience … I might be inhibited. My writing might be inhibited.
Oh, mercy, I hope that doesn’t sound self-aggrandizing! It’s not meant to. It’s just that I write from a place inside me which is so primal and profound, it’s honestly still a mystery to me.
When I write, I don’t really think about anything. In truth, I've learned that I do my best writing when I get out of my own way, mind my own business and just let it happen … in other words, when I don’t spend too much time thinking about it. When I just let it flow, the story and the characters seem to create themselves. And those seem to be the phrases or the paragraphs or the chapters of the story which move me the most - even when I go back to them several months later.
So, am I losing some intimate part of me? Am I giving something up? I don’t believe so. It never feels like “giving”. It feels more like praying.
Copyright © 2009, All Rights Reserved
15 June, 2009
Rocks, Walls and Epiphanies
People who know me now but did not know me just a few years back may be surprised by this but, prior to this huge ‘epiphany’ of mine nearly two years ago, I was about as unemotional a person as one could get. I didn’t cry at tear-jerker movies and I CERTAINLY never cried in front of anyone - ever. I used to be envious of my friends who COULD cry on their way out of the movie theater, friends who could then tearfully, joyfully, tell the people waiting in line what a wonderful film it was and how much they’d enjoy it.
These same high school friends, and then, later on, my co-workers, firmly believed I was hard as a rock and twice as strong and everyone loved to lean on me ‘cause I never shed a tear. I was the one to go to. I was Wonder Woman, Underdog and The Rock of Gibraltar all rolled into one. I resented, BTW, that everyone automatically assumed I was so strong that I never needed arms around me, but I kept my mouth shut because I was like that.
I clearly recall a time in my late 20’s when an incredulous friend said, “…YOU need help? But Pamela, you’re so strong. It never occurred to me you’d be weak.” One of those memories which pops up occasionally in living color and brings with it anger and resentment in waves.
I was NOT a rock, I was behind a wall. But I had no idea and neither, apparently, did anyone else…
Something changed one day - August 8th 2007 - and I don’t know why. I can remember the exact moment, where I was, what I was doing, and the photograph I was staring at which is now indelibly etched into my brain as the foundation - and the starting point - of this “Dream Quest” I’m on, this path of mine which I am now certain ‘has a heart’ (thank you Don Juan and Carlos Casteneda!).
From that moment on, I've become a different human being. At first, and for a long time thereafter, I thought I was losing my mind. ALL I could do was cry - over anything. A GE commercial could reduce me to a quivering bowl of Jell-O. I still cry easily, but at least now I’m not afraid it’s a sign of impending insanity.
That said, I can now answer Burt’s question.
The only thing on my mind when I created the town and the people of Duncaster / Weavers Bridge, CT, and then the story and then the book “Finding Emmaus” was an almost frenzied need to write it with everything I had in me.
That’s all I knew: just tell the story.
And the way I knew I had written a phrase or a sentence or a paragraph or a chapter just right, the way I knew I had ‘nailed it’, was my emotional response to it as I wrote. If I didn’t cry, I put what I had written aside and started again. And I’m not just talking about the sad or emotional parts of the story - I mean EVERYTHING. If it didn’t touch my heart, even if was only a paragraph to describe how the early Puritans identified which plants they could use to dye their cloth blue, it got rewritten.
I didn’t write “Finding Emmaus” to be famous or change the world or to impress anyone. I wrote it because I HAD to. Seven hundred and fifty pages came pouring out of a part of me I did not know existed and still have yet to locate.
Copyright © 2009, All Rights Reserved
09 June, 2009
What A Piece Of Work Is Man
And in the process, I learned as much about me as I did about them - perhaps more…
I've always known that life is precious, just as I've always believed human beings to be resilient creatures. But life is also a fragile thing and prior to this time (prior to writing “Finding Emmāus”) I never truly appreciated just how fragile.
I never really thought about what went on inside the walls of a hideous place like Bethlem Royal Hospital in the 17th century, or what the original settlers of this country went through when they lived day to day knowing their survival tomorrow quite literally depended upon every minute they spent today - - if they couldn’t make it or grow it or trade with the Native Americans for it, they did without it.
But I also know this: life, even in its most profoundly tragic moments, gives us a break - as in the way we humans will fondly recount an amusing story about a recently-lost loved one, even at a funeral.
Fragile and resilient, heroic and terrible, determined and pitiable - Hamlet had it right when he said “What a piece of work is man!”
Copyright © 2009, All Rights Reserved
